(DATING) Why I Will Never Date a Male Model Again!

By: Jerry Plaza
GAY GUYS
 
One of my exes was an up and coming supermodel in L.A. People knew who he was not because he was friendly or outgoing necessarily, but because he had the power to turn heads. You know those types of guys you see in a coffee shop window; they’re so attractive you have to back step for another glance—he was that guy.

I fell for his looks and he fell for my personality—both of us were a bit insecure mainly because I knew he was better looking and he knew I was more fun. But it didn’t matter because in accordance to the unwritten law, looks are more important than personalities, at least from first impression.

People saw us together and I was instantly labeled the “ugly one.” I was the guy who should consider himself lucky that such a man would want to date me. The world convinced me I wasn’t good enough for him, so random (more attractive) dudes would try and break us up—all the while my boyfriend’s ego got bigger and bigger.


A man might be a supermodel but that doesn’t mean he’ll make a great boyfriend. Dating a guy that turns heads is always going to be intimidating because he’s never going to be 100% yours. The whole world is going to worship him and in many ways, you’ll feel like you’re sharing him. Unless he’s deeply rooted with who he is as a person, no man can fight the pressure of social lust.

There are some hot guys out there with exceptional personalities, don’t get me wrong. But my ex wasn’t one of them. He fell into the trap because you let him—you give him all the attention, acclaim and rewards for standing in the corner pretending not to pose, when in actuality he was. He always posed, even on the elliptical!

Gay guys are tempted every day to throw themselves at good-looking dudes. West Hollywood is full of them. We’ve become a land of biceps and protein powder—probably the only area in Los Angeles where we have more health stores than Starbucks. Needless to say everyone is trying to catch up with one another because as the saying goes: “No pecs, no sex.”

In other words, when you’re really hot you will then attract really hot guys—the sex will be nonstop and you gain a socially approved status, whether it’s genuine or not. A nice body goes a long way in gay culture. We’ve made it a valuable asset to have in life and put it on top of the priority list. Sure eye candy is fun to look at, but it’s never going to keep a relationship intact. Trust me.

We’ve made a habit to put lust before love. We “fall in love” with really attractive people and start building crushes based only on their looks. It was cute when we were in junior high, but now that we’re grownups it’s time to know the difference between the two. When all my feelings are dependent upon a man’s body, I trick myself into thinking I like him more than I really do—that’s never going to end well.

Not to mention, really hot people aren’t exactly the most interesting to talk to. Studies have shown that beautiful people are more likely to favor self-promotion over independence—having the world adore the way you look all your life alters reality a tad and convinces you that this is all you’re worth, so naturally you need to sell it. Dating a self-promoter isn’t fun. I learned from experience.

You need to appreciate more than someone’s looks. Sure you might take some killer photos, but what’s going to happen after the camera is shut off? You’re left to waddle in your own denial—“He’s a really great guy.” Is he really? “He’s so good to me.” But is he really? “He’s so smart.” Girl, please…

Don’t kid yourself. If you really want to be happy you need to stop focusing on insignificant qualities. A hot body will make you want to f*ck, but will it make you want to love?