No one is a saint. I can vouch for that. But the world as a whole is slowly accepting that gay people are, in fact, alive, well, and becoming less afraid to show their true colors. With that comes a greater responsibility. Too often gay guys are becoming their own worst enemy, turning social perception into social habit. We have the power to change our own lives, and if you ask me, we can start by not doing the following:
#1) Thinking that porn is real life. A problem is always going to occur when we try and emulate our favorite porn stars. You start to judge behaviors in the bedroom a little bit more, but more dangerously, you begin to judge society in an equally as intense way. Gay porn fills creates a prototype of male beauty and convinces us that we need to look, act, and have sex like just like them. In some ways it can be a good thing, but in my opinion, it’s done more to increase body image issues than anything else.
#2) Thinking being “single” and “married” are the only choices. So many gay guys nowadays jump the gun. They’re desperate to live the lives of our favorite gay couples, i.e. Neil and David, Elton and David, Tom and Dustin, but rarely do they stop and think about the journey it takes to find a compatible person. Hardly anyone says: “I want to date!” but rather “I LOVE being single!” or “I want a boyfriend!” As soon as they find a man they like, they’re eager to commit. Trust me, you don’t want to rush these kinds of things. Don’t be scared to date; it’s the time you get to filter out the good eggs from the bad ones. It’ll save you a lot of heartache down the road.
#3) Being terrified of the word “feminine.” Everyone is dodging stereotypes. So much so, that the words “feminine” and “queen” are being used as weapons to rip ourselves a part. You have so much to offer the world. When “masculine” and “feminine” turn into an identity, it’s time to start thinking about where your head is truly at. Chances are, you’re depending too much on what everyone else thinks about you rather than what you think of you.
#4) Using sarcasm, sassiness, or bitchiness as a tool to make people think you’re confident. So many people use their attitude as a defense mechanism. No matter how you word it, turning the treatment of others into a mental form of therapy is selfish (and it’s always going to come back to bite you in the ass). Your legacy in life is always about how you make people feel. You want people to remember you? Try making them feel like what they’re saying is valid, what they feel is worthy of your attention, and what you’re saying is somehow helping them feel appreciated.
#5) Using Grindr as a Facebook replacement. I don’t have anything wrong with Grindr, but let’s face it, in no way is it a social media platform. Facebook keeps you connected to your friends in a more positive way (most of the time), but Grindr has a different purpose. If it replaces Facebook, you’re eventually going to rely on messages, shirtless pics, and “starred profiles” to define your worth. Use it responsibly, and make sure to keep emotions out of the equation.
For #6 to #15, click HERE!
SOURCE: Gay Guys
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