(COMMUNITY) Cynical Gay Guys Are a New Breed of Crazy!

By: David Artavia

I’m getting up there in age and with each passing year, I like to throw away toxic behaviors that have held me back—regret, shame, guilt, feelings of worthlessness. I’m twenty-eight now, and after all these years I’ve forgotten to rid myself of the most toxic of all: cynical friendships.

Cynical gay guys are a new breed of crazy because they’re never wrong.

When I was young and naïve, I desperately needed someone to pull me out of my shell rather than push me into a pit of self-doubt. Unfortunately it’s not how things turned out. I assumed I was stronger around cynical attitudes because at least they had courage to speak their minds, even if it was damaging to others. I was too scared to express myself that I became a slave to abrasive attitudes.


What’s happened to us lately? Endless competition has turned us against each other even when there’s nothing to fight about. Cynicism isn’t progressive nor does it make people feel comfortable enough to express an opinion. Its intention is to discard and suppress ideas while granting oneself short-term confidence that lasts as long as others are willing to accept it. In other words, a cynic gets his power not from himself but from others.

It was I who gave these people power and only I could take it away, for without followers there can be no leader. But the thing about human psychology is that there will always be followers because it’s how we’re designed. We crave a strong pack because deep down we’re animals just trying to survive—survival is what drives our logic in all things.

Why has it become normal to be chronically unsatisfied?

There is a trend happening that favors the cynic. Gay guys aren’t making fun of mean girls; we want to be mean girls. It used to be harmless and dismissive, only meant for a quick laugh, but it soon became a lifestyle—a 24/7 bullying buffet only meant for the thickest of skins.

It’s impossible to be content in yourself when you’re dissatisfied with everything. I know the mind of a cynic: they’re uncomfortable in themselves. You see, it’s a reflection of how they feel inside. When you can’t say something nice about anything, it’s clear you’re dissatisfied with your life and the only way to survive is to pretend like everyone is beneath you.

Cynicism isn’t cool anymore. It’s not cool to speak badly about people trying their best. If all you have to go on is a stupid movie or TV show where mean girls reign supreme, keep in mind that 99.9% of cynic characters lose in the end. The people who make it on top are those who try their best to love others in spite of their flaws—it’s no different in life. Besides, when is it ever healthy to morph our personalities around make-believe characters?

No one likes a cynical asshole. They’re not fun and they always become the joke. But most cynics have a sprinkle of narcissism and arrogance on top of their judgmental character, so they hardly notice when they’ve become the joke because they’re too busy thinking everyone worships them. Trust me, we don’t.
Look in the mirror and judge yourself. None of us are wizards. We can’t magically implant an image of ourselves onto others and assume it’ll stick. We aren’t defined by the world by the things we do or how we act, but rather how those accomplishments make other people feel.

We leave a trail wherever we go no matter how many circle of friends we bounce around to. The trail is created by characters we portray and through the intentions behind our voice. We have so much to offer the world if only we start looking at the potential, how wonderful our friends can be, and how much love we have inside as soon as we start appreciating the boundless offerings.

Life is too short to be cynical because you’ll only drive yourself into a crazy rabbit hole too deep to escape. You’re the only one being damaged by it. There is so much power inside you that cannot be ignored any longer. Let it out. Free it. Allow me to see it so I don’t fear showing you mine as well. When we inspire others to be their best self, the world will become a spring of hope. That’s something to passed on.