by David Artavia
GAY GUYS
Flirting is like skydiving. There you are, standing in the plane with the wind blowing in your face (opportunity). You know what to do (make the move). You understand that things can go horribly wrong but there’s no other way out (taking the risk), so you free fall and in a millisecond release all of your worries and you surrender to the wind (approaching the guy). When you finally hit land and realize you’re alive with no broken bones, you are on cloud nine that you had the courage to take the leap. It’s an exhilarating experience that requires constant practice and learning, but many of us fall victim to fear and never leave the plane.
We see opportunities in front of us and instead of taking the risk we walk the other way. Why? Above all, it’s a lack of confidence both in ourselves and in what we have to offer.
You don’t have to be scared of yourself. If you truly take the time to dissect what flirting actually is, you will find it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your imagination. Our thoughts and assumptions can be our worst enemy. Mind, body and soul work in tandem, so the sooner you can separate them the better. Here are a few tips that are sure to lead you in the right direction:
Know what NOT to do. You’ve seen it happen multiple times, either to you or someone else. The poor attempts of flirting that left you scratching your head and wondering what the hell just happened. Instead of viewing it in a 2-dimensional way, you ought to channel it towards something productive. Take mental notes for yourself so that you know which territories are dangerous and which ones aren’t. Start recognizing bad strategies and using them as a springboard.
You’re responding, not creating. It’s all there in front of you: the man, the situation, the opportunities, all you have to do is respond to it. Everything is at your disposal. When he winks or smiles at you, that in itself is a CALL; you are responsible for the RESPONSE. So if you think about it, flirting is merely answering an already existing opportunity rather than creating your own chances. It’s all a matter of saying yes instead of no. Taking the risk instead of watching it roll on by. There is a bigger picture you have yet to see – perhaps it’s fate waiting desperately for you to look into its eyes.
Stop putting up a wall too thick to break down (even for yourself). You’ll quickly find that a major reason why you lack confidence in flirting is because there’s an invisible wall, with the purpose of guarding (and protecting) your “cool.” You’re scared of looking stupid, feeling stupid, and saying stupid things that you fight away all possibilities. In other words, you’re terrified of feeling vulnerable. This will force you to be scared of yourself during times of great need. Learn to trust yourself a bit more. You will NOT look stupid, but you will feel stupid if you keep fighting the urge to filter. Let it go and embrace the moment with no questions.
They’ll always remember how you made them feel over the things you say or do. It’s crucial to make him feel important and heard. Never make him feel dumb for saying something awkward. Play it off, laugh it off, do whatever you need to do to make him feel good. This is how he will remember you. Make him feel better about himself, and he’ll always have the best impression.
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