(SEX TALK) How NOT to Treat a Man After Having Sex!

By: Blake Michaels
GAY GUYS


One of the things I love about sex is the build up. Sometimes sexual tension lasts for a really long time – way before you actually get in bed. You might work with each other, go to school with each other, meet each other several times at various parties, and all the while the urge for each other gets stronger. It would be a shame to have it disappear because you treated him like an asshole.

In recent years, sex has become so blasé. Gay guys have developed their own routine around it that’s personal and, in a way, selfish. In an effort to protect our hearts and minds, we’ve trained ourselves to detach ourselves from any kind of emotional bond. Trust me when I say it’s only going to do more harm than good. You say want to make a real connection with a man?


Try not doing these:

Don’t kick him out unceremoniously.

Have respect for the guy; after all, you were just inside of each other. If it’s late and you want to go to sleep, perhaps you should have thought twice before inviting him over close to midnight. When he leaves (or vice versa), don’t treat the situation like it didn’t matter at all – it’s so ungentlemanly. Have a level of respect.

Don’t take personal insecurities about your sex appeal out on him.

The fact that you’re having sex says multitudes about how he feels and thinks about you. Stop living inside your head all the time – you can’t assume that he’s having a bad time or that he’s not into you. When his penis deflates a little, 99.9% of time it has nothing to do with how sexy you are. The last thing you want is to fall insecure and start taking it out on him. You’re only going to feel like an asshole later on and he’s only going to be confused on the car ride home.

Never think it’s okay to play with his emotions (if he’s starting to like you).

Stop assuming you have power over him. The fact that another human being has taken an interest in you shouldn’t be a reason for you to test out a superiority complex. Having sex with someone who you know likes you can be a bit awkward, I get it. You’re trying not to let it turn into something serious, but never use this knowledge as a tool to treat him like a puppy. Everyone has limits – the idea that he’ll think you’re completely disgusting for treating him any less than what he is will be more traumatic to your ego than anything else.

Don’t give him false hope.

If you’re not interested in having sex again, for f*cks sake, don’t let him think it. You’re both big boys. You can take it. Never let him leave your house thinking he’s going to get a call the next day or that sometime soon, you’ll be inside each other again. Never leave the night saying things like, “I’ll call you tomorrow” or “This was one of the best I’ve ever had” or “You are so special” if it’s not true. You don’t need to kiss his ass, or, alternatively, make him feel like he wasn’t good. Be a gentleman and treat him with respect, and if nothing happens after that, so be it.

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