By: Blake Michaels
GAY GUYS
When I found out I had chlamydia, I blamed myself for it. It was because of all the times I’d snuck around on Grindr, the lack of discipline I had when it came to sex, and the countless of men I’d lured into my apartment over the years. I love to have fun, but at times it overtook my life. An STD was a tiny warning, and I knew it would only get more intense if I didn’t change my habits. But after days of feeling dirty and ashamed of myself, I realized how silly I was being.
STDs happen, people. When they do, it’s easy to blame ourselves; we want to run and hide underneath our bed sheets and never come out. I was close to falling inside a deep depression, especially when I had to call my previous one night stands to tell them about it. But what happens after you get tested positive for an STD? Does it inspire you to change your lifestyle towards a less promiscuous future?
Chlamydia is one of the least dangerous STDs around and many of my gay friends have had it at least once in their lives. In fact, according to statistics, 1 in 4 young adults have chlamydia, but there are other sexually transmitted diseases that are more serious. Hearing the word “STD” to anyone who’s never caught one before can be one of the scariest things in the world. The lack of education about STDs in this country is staggering. It wasn’t until I started researching that I was able to calm my nerves long enough to grow a bit of compassion.
I had to stop blaming myself. I had to redirect my focus. I couldn’t keep living in the past wondering which man it was that gave it to me or how much time I’d wasted hunting for sex. The most important thing was to stay present. Go back to the doctor, take what I needed to be well, get it cleared, and move on.
It’s difficult when not even you are on your side. Fighting with yourself is exhausting because no matter what, you’re always going to lose. Hiding it from friends and family will bring even more guilt and anxiety, so much so that you end up feeling like you’re trapped inside a documentary of your own life. You’re “that person” who caught an STD. You’re the one who will be judged, who will be the center of attention, etc. But in reality, it’s not the world that’s judging you (they couldn’t care less). It’s YOU who is judging yourself.
Too often we associate STDs with promiscuity. When we catch one, it’s as if we’re placing a scarlet letter around our neck: “S” for SLUT. Guys might as well wear a fake mustache when they go to a clinic for testing. Too many are walking with their heads down, fearful they might see someone they know or afraid of hearing the dreaded diagnosis. This is never good.
Here’s a bit of information for you. A man with HIV who is on his meds has an incredibly smaller chance of infecting you with the virus than a man who doesn’t know his status. Meds help to keep the virus from spreading, but an HIV-positive man who isn’t being treated would be playing a game of Russian Roulette with all of his sexual partners. That’s the importance of getting tested.
We need to start being proud of going to the clinic. We’re taking control of our lives by putting ourselves one step ahead of our health. That’s a noble thing! There are countless of men in monogamous relationships who infect their partner with an STD because of a minor lapse of judgment. You don’t need to be a slut to get infected with anything. The only thing that prevents you from getting an STD is a simple test. Stop blaming yourself by shaming your “behavior.” It’s not about that. It’s about your health. Take care of yourself. Protect your body by knowing your status.
Don’t be afraid to get tested!
Here are two great sources for you to find the best HIV & STD testing centers near you:
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