By: David Artavia
GAY GUYS
Last year I was unlucky enough to have dated a psycho. He charmed everyone with his perfect teeth, dancer-boy posture and recycled jokes. The world thought I was lucky to be with him, and so did I; that is until he showed his true colors.
Everyone has a little psycho in them somewhere. It’s an animal instinct given to us by our ancestors, who weren’t exactly cultured—they hunted, killed and gained intuition to protect themselves from predators. But today the intuitive skills have names: anxiety and paranoia—the only thing they protect us from now is reality.
My ex-boyfriend was the type of man who would spill a drink off the table and blame me for putting it too close to the edge. He’d be jealous of everyone around me. At first I thought it was sexy. Who wouldn’t want a man to be jealous of them? To me, he was preserving what was his; and I was his property. At the beginning I was fine with it but as our relationship started to forge, my freedom become his.
Nothing can surprise me now when it comes to men, especially guys who proclaim to be high and mighty. I see passed it. I fell for the charm and quickly learned that a man’s character doesn’t lie on the exterior, but in the gut.
You see, when we first started dating I felt deep down that something was off. Like most people, I ignored it. I thought the persistent text messages, constant affirmation and overprotection were signs of love—I was inexperienced.
These experiences taught me not only what to look for in guys, but also the importance of intuitive language. Psychotic behavior and ultimate disaster shows itself little by little. How we react to love when it shows itself is a major sign of who we are. You know why? Because the circuits that light up when we’re in love are the same circuits that light up in clinically diagnosed psychopaths! The only difference is, according to studies, the brain of a psychopath lacks empathy—when they see someone in pain they don’t feel a need to help.
My psycho ex found it hard to empathize with my plight 90% of the time. The other 10% was likely behavior he taught himself throughout his life during times he needed to gain loyalty or steer away from judgment–socially learned skill. When he was listening to me I could tell he wasn’t with me. He was listening because it was proper boyfriend etiquette.
The experience I went through made me a better man because it gave me a spectrum to live by.
Something interesting happens when you date a psycho. You learn the value of true friendship—the people who were there for me constantly tried to break us apart. I knew they were right even when I denied it because they made me feel good.
He didn’t make me feel good.
This was my intuitive language speaking to me through emotional waves of consciousness. I felt like sh*t around him, yet I stayed. I ignored my gut—never again.
Now I don’t do anything without consulting my gut first. If I listened to my heart and brain, I’d be in utter obscurity. Whether you think so or not, your heart isn’t intuitive; it’s intellectual property. Your heart changes its mind when situations change, but the gut is your moral compass. It will never fray and never listens to the world, but rather pushes you towards a path that’s authentic to your being–no matter how circumstances change.
Psychos thrive on messing up your progress because they want you to go on their path rather than your own.
I’ve learned that in order to achieve your destiny you mustn’t hand it over easily. The only way to achieve potential is to listen to what your soul tells you. It lives in your gut. Whether it’s a boyfriend, friend, family member or job opportunity, ignoring your intuition is betraying yourself.
Psychos are that little red devil on the edge of your shoulder saying, “Come with me. I know all the answers. You don’t really want that.”
Trust me when I say the most incredible lessons come from life threatening circumstances. When I dated my ex I was at the lowest point of my life because I let him take me there. I will never be in that mental space again because now I know the power of my own voice. You can too, but first you must be silent.
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