(COMMUNITY) How to Stop Being in the Gay "Friend" Zone!

By: Jerry Plaza

Sometimes it takes a while to form an intimate connection. I’ve known couples that were friends for years before any romantic spark happened. The friend zone is an interesting place to be when you’re a gay guy, mainly because most of us find it easy to fall for a man as soon as we get close.

When I was young I fell in love a lot. So much so that it was hard for me to be friends with any gay man – within a matter of days, I’d start to grow feelings. When you’re in the friend zone, it seems like your hours are numbered before you start to become attracted to each other. Meeting a guy we really connect with on a platonic level is rare, so when we find him we instantly want something more. But what happens when it’s clear the other person doesn’t want to take it to the next level?

(RELATIONSHIPS) 10 Signs Your Boyfriend is a Bully!

 

By: Jerry Plaza


Love can blind us to bullying in unforeseen ways. You probably won’t see it until years down the line, and even then you still try and mask it with past memories—“Somewhere inside is that man I fell in love, so I’m going to keep on keeping on.”

Sometimes boyfriends change into bullies right before your very eyes and you’re the only keeping yourself from escaping. The last thing you want to do is waste your time being chiseled away by a beautiful monster. Check out the signs:

(RELATIONSHIPS) Now that we've "Redefined Marriage," will we Need to Redefine Adultery? The Answer is Maybe?

What ever you want to call it, same-sex marriage, gay marriage, marriage equality, one thing will remain the same, there will be divorce.  But when it comes time to go our LGBT separate ways, will there be the same legal battle and options that straight married couples would have when divorce is the only solution?
What are the reasons people seek a divorce?  In all polls seen about the reasons for divorce, adultery / cheating is always the main category.  What is interesting is that only 20 states classify adultery as an illegal act.  (Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Kansas, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Massachusetts, New York, Maryland, Rhode Island). - divorcefamilylaw.com

What may be confusing is the definition of adultery.  Here is a case from the UK.

But that is UK law, we cannot have the same concern here correct?  Each state in America has their own divorce laws, definitions, and allowances. Some are as unchanged as the UK, while others have made alterations.

SOURCE: Instinct

(RELATIONSHIPS) Is Cyber Sex Considered Cheating?

By: Blake Michaels
GAY GUYS

It doesn’t take a lot to get my man jealous—one glance, one smile, and it gets weird. He doesn’t go overboard; in fact I think it’s kinda cute when he gets a little jelly. But I can’t help but wonder why he lives on one side of the jealous spectrum when other guys exist on the other.

Online hookups and hookup apps run rampant in our community, honey. For many gay guys entering a new relationship, the concern is always in the back of our minds—can I trust him? We’re curious as to what we might find in his phone, but to save endless hours of obsessing we tell ourselves it’s fine and we’re being crazy. But at the end of the day, is cyber sex really cheating?

The home wrecker is on the other side of the screen—probably across the damn country. Hell, your man might even be paying for it. He isn’t sneaking out of the house to a secret boyfriend waiting for him with his ass in the air like a kitty. One of the interesting aspects about cyber cheating is that emotional attachment is rarely an issue because the whole point of it is to not get attached.

(RELATIONSHIPS) My BF Refuses to Top, What do I do?

By: Blake Michaels
GAY GUYS

Compatibility has many layers, honey. One of the most important, if not the most, has to do with sex. I’d like to be the bigger person and say it’s all about love, connection and intimacy. Don’t get me wrong, all that is important too, but when it comes to being mentally and emotionally stable within a partnership, you need to be comfortable with your current sex life.

It doesn’t matter what “role” you prefer to have in the bedroom, so long as it’s something you’re satisfied with. If your man is someone you’ve decided will last a long while, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t demand the sex you deserve. But what happens if your fantasies and urges don’t mesh with his?

Getting bottomed is fabulous not just because it feels amazing, but because it’s confirmation that your man finds you desirable. He has an erection, a hard one, for you – and he wants to be inside you. The whole thing is supposed to be a statement on where your devotion is with each other, but because we’ve turned it into something less meaningful, it’s become a lot more selfish.

(RELATIONSHIPS) Is Gay Porn Killing Love?

By: Blake Michaels
GAY GUYS 

There are certain minds out there in the world that think porn has the potential of replacing love. When we believe that all we need is a hand to squeeze a few spurts of love juice, being single becomes less depressing. The effort of hunting, searching, and cruising for a man is no longer as sought after in today’s digital world. But is that threatening the nature of love?

We’re human beings, and love is one of our most enviable emotions to obtain. We feel better about ourselves knowing there is at least one person who loves us unconditionally. Some of us find it more than once, but for those who have it now, it over exceeds all kinds of pursuits, including lust. That’s how powerful it is.

Porn is convenient. It’s there for us during our dry periods, even our wet periods. In many ways, it teaches us how to have amazing sex and kept us from driving ourselves crazy. Sometimes our fantasies can be so extreme that porn is the only way to let it out – something we might not have been able to do in the real world.

(IMAGE) How to Handle Rejection in a Healthier Way!

By: David Artavia
GAY GUYS

Every rejection is another reminder that someone or something doesn’t “want” us. We consider it evidence to what our true value is—we aren’t worthy enough to have it, therefor we aren’t good enough for anything. The cycle continues until we start to believe it.

Take comfort in knowing that all humans have felt this way at some point in their lives. It’s the only way we allow ourselves to self-reflect on what our purpose ought to be. If we received everything we ever wanted in life, chances are we’d never know the value of it.

Rejection is a part of humanity, and quite an important one at that. 99.9% of the time things aren’t going to work out according to plan—it’s how we handle it that makes us grow.

(RELATIONSHIPS) 7 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Shallow As Fu*k!

 

By: Jerry Plaza
GAY GUYS

When any relationship is built around the physical rather than the emotional, there’s literally no need to have a deeper connection. Vulnerability is one of the most powerful things at the beginning because it’s proof that they’re seeing beneath the skin and hair and love handles. There’s a sense of calmness when it comes to exposing your truth to him, which rarely happens when superficiality overpowers everything.
Some people in this world are easier to connect with because they don’t judge value based on what they see. When we use our looks as currency, we’re likely to experience a lot of heartache. The people we thought were our true friends prove us wrong and those who we assumed had our back do the same. Shallowness starts with our ability to play society’s image game. It takes a strong person to step back. Here are a few red flags I’ve picked up along the way.

(STUDY) Can Two Bottoms Have A Successful Relationship?

By: Blake Michaels
GAY GUYS


Let’s say you meet a guy who’s the total package. He’s everything you want in a man: handsome, genuine and with your sense of humor. After dessert you head back to your place for a second course.

The clothes come off and you wait for him to take control… he doesn’t. You wait for him to throw you on the bed… he doesn’t. You wait for him to grab your body and use it like a dummy… he doesn’t. That’s when it sinks in. You’re both bottoms. Despite his bulging muscles peeking out from under his shirt showing dominating-potential, unfortunately you let your imagination blindfold reality. Again.

As someone who believes balance is the secret to a long-lasting relationship, I think it’s important for it to translate into the bedroom. For many gay guys out there, unless your man is willing to give you what you need, it’s a useless effort. Two bottoms (or two tops) never seem to make it past the second date despite whatever feelings they had for each other. Can two men of the same position last?

(RELATIONSHIPS) Being a Manwhore Made me a Better Boyfriend!

By: Jerry Plaza
GAY GAYS

I wasn’t brought up in the most open family. Born in the south, I knew what it meant to be scared of showing my true colors. There was a mixed bag of emotions I carried: half was full of my own truth and the other was full of what everyone else expected me to be. I couldn’t please both, though I desperately tried. By the time I was 21, I wasn’t nearly as mature in most arenas as my other straight friends were. So in effort to catch up, I acted out.

People my age had already gone through relationships, sex, and loss of virginities. They’ve made out with people at parties, hooked up at prom, felt people up at church camp, etc. I, the gay guy who’d been suppressing all these feelings, never had a chance act on them. Instead I watched as my friends got to experience the things a normal teenager should.

(RELATIONSHIPS) Is Monogamy REALLY Natural For Gay Men?

 

By: David Artavia

I love being a gay man. It allows me to have perspectives on the human condition that straight people may not be able to tap into. It also allows me to understand the way a man’s behavior is supposed to be – gay, straight, or otherwise. We’re built for sex. Our bodies require us to have some type of release in order to feel grounded and sane inside our heads. Monogamy, it seems, was created by society rather than nature. Could it be argued that humans actually weren’t meant to be monogamous after all?

As much as I’d like to daydream about the idea, I know for a fact that I’m a man who requires monogamy. It might be the Latin blood flowing through my veins that keep me from seeing anything else (my people get super jealous from time to time), but the argument still exists.

According to LiveScience, only 3 – 5% of the roughly 5,000 species of mammals (including humans) are known to form lifelong monogamous bonds – beavers, wolves and some bats are among them. But what are the benefits? Why do humans put so much weight on the idea behind commitment? Some psychologists suggest it may have been created for the wellbeing of our offspring. But the system in which we go about it is vastly different from other animals roaming the earth.

(Study): Romantic Kissing Is Far From A Universal Practice Among Human Cultures!

 

While a kiss may arguably be our most common display of romantic affection, did you know that romantic kissing is common in less than half of the world's cultures??

A new study discounts the previous estimation that as much as 90 percent of the world participates in romantic kissing. It actually appears that a kiss between lovers is a relatively new and decidedly western practice.

(RELATIONSHIPS) How Grindr Helped Me Get Over My Ex!

By: Jerry Plaza
GAY GUYS

We were together for three years, all of which contained some of the best memories of my life. He made it clear from the beginning his work was the most important thing to him in his life; and it was his work that drove him away. Three thousand miles to be exact.

When we broke up, it was devastating. I’d never had my heart broken before, so I reached out to friends I knew had been in my shoes before. For days, they told me exactly what I needed to hear: life goes on, you’ll find another man to love, time heals all. But one thing they said really struck home – “The best way to get over a man is to get under another one…”

I thought about it for some time. My ex and I had the best sex life you could ever imagine. In fact it was one of the things that kept us together, which is terrible to say. When hookup apps became the rage, I was at a place in my life where I needed sexual gratification. I bought into it hardcore, but when I met my ex, it become unneeded. Now that we were done, I desperately needed a distraction, and the first thing I thought of was sex.

(DATING) Right Man, Wrong Time?

By: David Artavia
GAY GUYS

It’s interesting what happens when a new man comes into my life. Familiar feelings I thought would never return come bubbling back, and I get frightened. I overanalyze the smallest things, wondering if the feelings are mutual or not. History repeats itself and before I know it, he ends up being another face on my wall of failed attempts. I used to blame myself, until I realized there was nothing wrong with me. When it comes to compatibility, timing, I’ve learned, is everything.

I’ve often wondered what might have happened if I’d met Jeff, Michael, Tyler or Ben just a few years down the road. Would we have had better chemistry? Might I have been more confident in where my life was? The truth of the matter is it’s pointless to think about – we can’t change reality to fiction. To do so would be torturous.

The right guys can come at the wrong time, no question. I’ve experienced it a few times in my life, and it sucks. You think, if only he was ready to settle; if I wasn’t so busy with my career, I could give him more attention; if he was slightly more comfortable being out, I might have been more open to my feelings; if he didn’t just go through a breakup, his heart may have been more willing; if I had more confidence in myself, perhaps I could have been a game changer for him. The what if’s never end and while it’s easy to pinpoint it back to ourselves, the fact of the matter is it just wasn’t the right timing.

(COMMUNITY) 10 Struggles of Being a Nice Guy in the Gay Hookup Culture!

By: David Artavia
GAY GUYS

Being a nice guy is hard, especially in a world where superiority complexes are aspired to. As a guy born with a naturally nice disposition, being anything but nice feels selfish. It feels likes I’m going against everything I know is true. But every once in a while, you need to step it up. It’s become expected.

It’s hard for anyone to date in this digital hookup culture, but for gay guys it’s especially hard because it’s sunk into our mindset. How in the world can Mr. Nice Guy thrive in an environment full of Mr. Right Nows?

(IMAGE) How My Psycho Ex-Boyfriend Made Me a Better Person!

By: David Artavia
GAY GUYS

Last year I was unlucky enough to have dated a psycho. He charmed everyone with his perfect teeth, dancer-boy posture and recycled jokes. The world thought I was lucky to be with him, and so did I; that is until he showed his true colors.

Everyone has a little psycho in them somewhere. It’s an animal instinct given to us by our ancestors, who weren’t exactly cultured—they hunted, killed and gained intuition to protect themselves from predators. But today the intuitive skills have names: anxiety and paranoia—the only thing they protect us from now is reality.
My ex-boyfriend was the type of man who would spill a drink off the table and blame me for putting it too close to the edge. He’d be jealous of everyone around me. At first I thought it was sexy. Who wouldn’t want a man to be jealous of them? To me, he was preserving what was his; and I was his property. At the beginning I was fine with it but as our relationship started to forge, my freedom become his.

(SEX TALK) 30 Things I Think About When Giving my Man a BJ!

By: Blake Michaels
GAY GUYS

I love going downtown on my man, honey. It’s one of the only things I look forward to every single day. Not only am I great at it, but I take tremendous pride in my solid reputation – I’ve never had a complaint. But you know, every now and then my mind will wonder. It’s not my man’s fault, but sometimes things happen that bring me out of the moment.

I started taking notes of all the things that go through my head, and I was surprised at what I discovered. Something tells me they’re all things plenty of gay guys can relate to. Who knows, maybe they’ll help you have a bit more respect for your man the next time he’s giving you a neck-throwing salute on your private parts. 

(RELATIONSHIPS) Frightening Truth About Monogamy In Gay Relationships!

By: Rick Clemons
GAY GUYS 

Gone are the days that relationships last for any length of time, let alone a monogamous gay relationship. Really? You’re actually buying into that! Just because Mom and Dad didn’t make it, and your last two gay relationships lasted less than 24 hours, doesn’t mean your next gay relationship has to bite the big one (biting big appendages for pleasure, excluded)! Honestly boyfriend, unless you can’t take your eyes off your collection of “What’s Up?” hook-up apps disguised as “Meet Mr. Right” apps, long enough to give a real relationship a try, you’ll never experience the big “O” of being in a monogamous, intimate, relationship. Now I’ll get off my soapbox and help you explore why monogamy seems scarier than Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin in a twisted lesbian porno! Ew, and Ew!

Monogamy and gay men, on the surface, don’t seem to go together. I for one, disagree with that old stereotypical wives tale (those old wives sure do spin more “tails” than a gay escort on a Saturday night don’t they). I see you scratching your head and wondering, “Why does he disagree with what Craigslist, Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, and Jack’d have indisputably proven? Gay men can’t be monogamous!” Capital B, Capital S with finger air quotes. Gay men can be monogamous; they simply have to choose to be tied up in a corner and untied by one guy and one guy only…their man, when it’s time to rid ‘em cowboy! Wrong! Nowhere in the gay handbook, which doesn’t exist, does it say, “Your duty as a gay man is to dip your wicky and have your candy can sucked by as many men as possible; relationship or not!”

The naked truth about monogamy is it scares the bean and cheese burrito with extra beef out of most of us! Why?

(RELATIONSHIPS) Chronically Single: A Gay Man’s Perspective!

By: David Artavia
GAY GUYS

My longest relationship was 4 weeks long. Go ahead, say I’m too picky or that I’m too distracted at work or that I’m not emotionally available – everyone else has. It’s opinions like these that convinced me something was wrong; the longer I listened, the more I beat myself up. I felt pressure to find a boyfriend. I tried to convince myself that all these weirdoes I was dating were someone worth investigating – believe me, they weren’t.

I realized one day that all my drinking buddies had disappeared. For the longest time I thought we’d be together forever, but like all great things there comes a time when the era ends. Once it does you’re forced to find new habits and quite possibly new friends. This is the cue to pour myself another drink.

My mother always said I was a late bloomer. I know what kind of life I want for myself and a family is definitely a part of the plan, but I feel no need to rush things because I’m content with how my life is right now; and it’s not like I don’t date. Believe me, I date a lot. I’ve gone on five, six, seven dates with a guy, but at the end it fizzles out because we know the chemistry isn’t right. Why try and make something work out of false necessity?

(EVENING WORKOUT) How Kegels Will Change Your Sex Life!

 

BY K. Aleisha Fetters
DETAILS

Your penis needs a workout. No, not that kind.

You need to perform Kegel exercises, tiny contractions of your pelvic floor's pubococcygeus (PC) muscles. The exercises—which women often practice to keep things tight and preventing that "hot dog flying down a hallway" feeling—are becoming increasingly popular with well-equipped men across the country. And for good reason: It turns out, Kegels can curb everything from premature ejaculation and, on the flip side, erectile dysfunction to crooked cocks. They can also make orgasms more intense.

"There isn't a day that goes by that I don't teach Kegels to at least five guys for various conditions," says Brian L. Steixner, M.D., director of the Institute for Men's Health at Jersey Urology Group. He explains that the pelvic-floor muscles are a group of tissues that hang out in (you guessed it) your pelvis and act like a sling, holding up your internal organs and intestines. But the different muscles that make up the pelvic floor, most notably the PC muscles, which stretch from your anus to your urinary sphincter, are critical in your penis's health.